Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
