Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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