my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
