Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
