Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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