Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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