There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
