She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
