Apparently you make a good broom.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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