Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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