Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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