Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
