Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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