they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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