We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
