I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
