I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
