You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize