i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
