belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
