Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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