Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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