Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
