Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
