so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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