I have demons in me.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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