So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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