Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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