Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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