Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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