I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
