I just made out with a guy for $7.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
