just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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