i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
