Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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