you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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