he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
