Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
