Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
