I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize