peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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