Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
