Duck Duck Cougar?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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