I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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