I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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