I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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