my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i dont even know how to be here
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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