Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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