He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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