I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
