booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize