I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
