Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
