My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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