is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
