girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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