I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
