I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....