I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
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He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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