just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
