I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
