Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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