Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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