Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
