So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
